Earlier today I took a look at my copy of last week's Bay Windows, a weekly for the New England GLBT community and came across an opinion piece by Rev. Irene Monroe regarding the recent news of Sheryl Swoopes' engagement to a man. Now first off I've got to admit I had no idea who Sheryl Swoopes is, so I nearly passed the article right by. The word "bi-phobia" in the header caught my attention. Reading the article I couldn't help but be struck by the story's connection to some aspects of my musings on Outness last week.
Why is it that bisexuality, which would, I think, be the norm if subject to suppressed by Occidental societal pressures, considered a lack of commitment by both ends of the spectrum? Is it because it puts the lie to the imperatives of either side? Homophobic groups use it as proof of their claims of homosexuality being a choice and can use willing bisexuals as "proof" of their cures. And sad to say some gays view pronouncements of bisexuality as a dodge for those who refuse to admit their homosexuality. I can't help but feel pity for the spot Ms. Swoopes is in as a public figure. Aside from the ridiculous pressures from such public exposure their is the added harangues of factions trying to use her for their own purposes. Everything she says and does is susceptible to manipulation and misuse for someone else's cause. I understand that she has maintained all along that she views sexuality as a choice. That is counter to what many GLBT organizations hold, they know such an opinion will be used as a weapon by conservative religious groups; it often is. If one thinks it through with clear and open mind, it's obvious; to a "near middle" bisexual, sexual attraction does come down to choice.
Even"five and a half me" has some sexual interest in women. Although I truly can't ever imagine myself in a long term sexually exclusive relationship with a woman.
This complete misunderstanding of the dynamics of sexuality, introductory arousal and psychic attraction stands in the way of any rational discourse. There are not two or three or four sexual orientations; each and ever one of us has our own set of sex-variables (for lack of a better term) with an inborn base or essence supplemented with circumstantial modifiers or fetishes e.g. I know I was born with a pronounced attraction to males, from experience beards appeal to me, also red sweatpants are an arousal trigger engendered by a couple of entertaining incidents involving red sweatpants.
I have always marveled at the bizarre proposition that one would choose homosexuality, let me explain that one: go back in time fifty, a hundred, four hundred years when "sodomites" were tortured and executed; who the hell would choose that path? I don't believe the piece of ass exists which would make me want to risk that! I think the very fact that, after centuries of such malevolence and violence, the continued presence of individuals who love the same sex proves beyond doubt that homosexuality is not simply an aberrant lust. I'm certainly not brave enough to risk censure and violence for a simple physical pleasure. I contemplated my urges and emotions many, many times when I was younger; there is absolutely no way I could then or can now alter the principle focus of my desires: physical or emotional.
The piece by Rev. Monroe excerpted a quote contained in a piece by Cyd Zeigler on Outsports.com :
Why is it that bisexuality, which would, I think, be the norm if subject to suppressed by Occidental societal pressures, considered a lack of commitment by both ends of the spectrum? Is it because it puts the lie to the imperatives of either side? Homophobic groups use it as proof of their claims of homosexuality being a choice and can use willing bisexuals as "proof" of their cures. And sad to say some gays view pronouncements of bisexuality as a dodge for those who refuse to admit their homosexuality. I can't help but feel pity for the spot Ms. Swoopes is in as a public figure. Aside from the ridiculous pressures from such public exposure their is the added harangues of factions trying to use her for their own purposes. Everything she says and does is susceptible to manipulation and misuse for someone else's cause. I understand that she has maintained all along that she views sexuality as a choice. That is counter to what many GLBT organizations hold, they know such an opinion will be used as a weapon by conservative religious groups; it often is. If one thinks it through with clear and open mind, it's obvious; to a "near middle" bisexual, sexual attraction does come down to choice.
Even"five and a half me" has some sexual interest in women. Although I truly can't ever imagine myself in a long term sexually exclusive relationship with a woman.
This complete misunderstanding of the dynamics of sexuality, introductory arousal and psychic attraction stands in the way of any rational discourse. There are not two or three or four sexual orientations; each and ever one of us has our own set of sex-variables (for lack of a better term) with an inborn base or essence supplemented with circumstantial modifiers or fetishes e.g. I know I was born with a pronounced attraction to males, from experience beards appeal to me, also red sweatpants are an arousal trigger engendered by a couple of entertaining incidents involving red sweatpants.
I have always marveled at the bizarre proposition that one would choose homosexuality, let me explain that one: go back in time fifty, a hundred, four hundred years when "sodomites" were tortured and executed; who the hell would choose that path? I don't believe the piece of ass exists which would make me want to risk that! I think the very fact that, after centuries of such malevolence and violence, the continued presence of individuals who love the same sex proves beyond doubt that homosexuality is not simply an aberrant lust. I'm certainly not brave enough to risk censure and violence for a simple physical pleasure. I contemplated my urges and emotions many, many times when I was younger; there is absolutely no way I could then or can now alter the principle focus of my desires: physical or emotional.
The piece by Rev. Monroe excerpted a quote contained in a piece by Cyd Zeigler on Outsports.com :
"It is amazing to me that after all the HOOPLA surrounding Sheryl Swoopes “coming out” …. her recent marriage to a MAN get’s virtually no attention. Is she now UN-GAY?… Why is the fact that this woman went through a period of “trial” in her life NOT getting any press? It is obvious that the woman just like every other gay or lesbian man or woman in the world had at that time made a CHOICE to entertain the idea of being with someone of the same gender. Sheryl is just more proof that no one is born gay, it is a learned behavior brought on by experiences and circumstances in ones life. I am very happy for Sheryl – but the “gay agenda” driven PRESS can bite it. It is MORE than obvious the press is nothing but a bunch of HYPOCRITES more than willing to make a HUGE story out of someone supposedly being gay but having absolutely NOTHING to say when that same individual realizes it was NOTHING more than just a phase in their lives."
It is incomprehensible to me, the level of vehemence expressed by "extremist heterosexuals" What is at the root of it, hatred or fear?
In general, our society seems to accept a bisexual female a lot easier than a bisexual male. I think had this been a bisexual male the uproar would have been insane. Why is it easier for a woman to be bisexual regarding societal acceptance? ...That's a subject for another day.
A very large part of who we fall in love with is circumstance plain and simple. We can't fall in love with someone we haven't met. Circumstance put a man, then a woman, the another man in Ms. Swoopes' path. For a middle of the scale bisexual, the sex of the person whom they fall in love with can't really matter, can it? The only choice they really can be said to make is whether or not to pursue a relationship with the person they connect with. They are, I think, the most fortunate of us all.
Rev. Monroe ends her article with two excellent points we must all try to keep in mind:
A.S.Merrimac
"Who Swoops is partnered with...is really none of our business." and "If you are in the straight camp cheering Swoopes for 'crossing back over' or in the queer camp castigating her for 'flip-flopping' you share a bi-phobic reaction to Swoopes' choice........"
A.S.Merrimac
